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Dear Dad,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being the daughter you wanted. You wanted a happy, smart daughter who did as she was told and kept her room tidy. Instead, you got me. A depressed emo that freaks out over everything who constantly worries you and frustrates you until you have to leave the room just to breathe. I'm sorry that you hate looking at me now that I have dyed my hair black. I'm sorry for being so stupid when Mum and you are both so intelligent. You both seem to think I'm so social whilst in reality, I'm awkward and make people uncomfortable. I want to make you proud but all I do is disappoint. At first, I cried so much and I tried to make you proud but you never were. I know I hurt both you and Mum so much by being me. At least you were kind when I told you I was depressed and when I cried and cried. You tried to understand, even when I knew you couldn't. I remember when I was young and we were close. I loved it when I was close to you. Before school started to get to my head and matter. If you ever read this it means I won't be beside you. I love you very much, Dad. That will never change. Even when you call me reckless or tell me to grow up or do better. I've bee going t therapy but if I'm being honest... It only helps when I'm there. It's as if my demons wait outside the office and as soon as leave they come back and choke me. I wish I could explain it to you. Mum just makes hurtful comments. Did you know that when she found out one of my favourite YouTubers had suffered from depression she said "has he ever been to a clinic?" and I said "no". She responded with "well I guess he was not really depressed then. He should have just gotten himself together. Just like you should actually."My heart was shredded again. I wish you could see how much you both hurt me, especially Mum. You and she are like a wall looming over me with judgement and comments. At least you seem to think a bit more before you speak. My heart aches in my chest as I write this. It's a physical pain. I wish I was not a kid and could go on anti-depressants. I would overdose. I'm done. I have nothing more to say.
Goodbye
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