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Family trouble!! I think I hate themmm!! :(* PLEEEEEASE HELP IM DESPERATE
6 years ago · 3 · Stressed out, +22 · Explicit
692
Ok first things first, this will be really long and you might need to look something up if you can helppp (please try, they’ve began to wear me down so I’ve actually started having bouts of depression)
1. I think my (13 y/o) twin sibling has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
-So he has shown pretty much all signs and symptoms of NPD
-I only know about this stuff because of him. I am no doctor (I’m still only 13 but hoping to become a child physiatrist) but it all started because I wanted answers to why my brother was so mean all of the time (this was when I was 11) I found myself finding NPD. I began to find interest in this phycology stuff so I bought myself a big ol’ DSM 5. Lmao so I read into the Narcissistic Personality Disorder pages and I found it to describe my brother more and more.
-he had affected me before to the point where I wanted to commit suicide. What he had done to me was all too much but I got smarter and learned how to avoid his torment and manipulation. (Oml sorry I probably sound so arrogant right now!!! Sorryyyy)
-he has just done so much and I can’t tell him because he will stop talking to me or turn it around on me (gaslighting is what its called but I don’t and won’t ever believe his attempts at manipulation!!)
-we get in arguments..pretty much Everyday (and i know this isn’t excusable, but he’s always the one who starts it. He complains about my friends, his food, when HE “accidentally” hits me, his showers and my step stool, mobile games, things during mobile games, things that happened in the past that I don’t remember but I know they happened, how I’m “always dramatic”.... I could go on and on but that just wastes time
-I need to know what I can do about him, my mom said that we will deal with him After vacation but all she ever does is basically ignore what I’m saying. There’s always exuses and she promises things and then never does them.
2. I hate my mom because she never listens
-I’ve come to my mom crying because of things my brother did that hurt me a lot mentally ( I think maybe I am more mature than people my age because of how my family treated me, I’m sorry that sounds really arrogant again. But they have done some pretty messed up things)
-she has also got me to the point where I wanted to take my own life (I’ve only felt that way twice but it really does hurt when your own family make sure you want to die)
-she basically bullies me about these simple things and has basically told me before that all I do is cause problems in her life (that’s what made me want to commit suicide and we were on VACATION too and I didn’t sleep in the same bed with her for the last FOUR days of vacation (I slept on the freaking floor!!!) because I hated her so much for making me feel like that)
-she has depression (and I know that really REALLY REALLLLLLLY can hurt. I’ve had depressive episodes before. )
-but allll she does is complain, buy expensive and extra ass things for no reason, and call my dad really bad names (like i will give two examples and I’m sorry for saying them but she calls him a “fucking bastard” “asshole” it goes on. She calls him so many names like that because she gets annoyed and some of it has actually influenced my brother to seeing him how she sees him (and he isn’t nearly that bad of a person) they just get annoyed from him CALLING THEM ABOUT 3 TIMES A DAY TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS GOING OK BECAUSE HE WORKS A 4AM-7 PM JOB!!!!! wth is wrong with that??!! He’s trying to make sure nothing is going wrong and he should actually be retired right now!! He’s almost 70 years old, he works the hardest, he has worked the same job over 30 years, he does EVERYTHING for us to make sure we are safe and comfortable.
- I honestly don’t know what to do with her and she’s my mother (she has practically always been this way too!! And I’ve confronted her about calling my dad that because it’s not good for anyone. Just who is it helping!?!? And she’s freaking lazy too! She sits around eating chips, buys a lot of excess things, doesn’t do yard work so my dad who works 15 more or less hours a day, 5 days a week (sometimes 24/7!) ends up doing that too!! And he has to pay for everything, this isn’t her money she’s using
I can’t do anything about her. And she’s too lazy to do anything about herself.
3. and my dad.. he is addicted to alcohol.
-Omfg ok so my dad is addicted, has been since before he was at the legal age to drink and has smoked since he was 7 y/o!! (Haha sorry I probably sound so dramatic throughout saying all of this with the !!!!)
-but so he drinks constantly, I mean like 3 am when he gets up for work, on his way to work driving!! Which happens to be very ILLEGAL, he drinks when he gets home, he drinks anytime he has time to.
-he doesn’t know that we know he’s addicted. I have proof of him drinking and hiding beer bottles in his car but I’m not showing him until I confront him (which I hope is within this year because it’s helllllllllaaaa unsafe for everyone)
-he causes emotion damage to us (the familyyy) when he’s drunk, he’s very mean. And he definitely forgets things because of it too.
- now he’s been addicted and his parents, adult child, and siblings are/were addicted. So many problems though!
-I can’t confront him because I am worried he won’t listen. And it’s very hard to catch and talk with him when he’s sober and he can be very good at hiding that he has been drinking
I don’t know how to describe my family. We fight. That’s pretty much all we do. Fight. Well I guess you could describe our family as broken. My parents were “divorced” (by that I mean it wasn’t legally divorced, they didn’t actully send in papers but they lived in different houses.) but my dad let my mom come back (which I think he partially regrets because she has caused so many problems and I know that’s kind of hypocritical of me to say)
But my mom, dad and brother love eachother and me (maybe? They pretty much never listen to my ideas. They are just trying to talk over eachother) I just don’t know how to love them.
Please help, I know I am ‘a bit young’ to be saying this stuff but like I said I have always felt more mature than other kids my age. And I know not all of the people on here are actual doctors but any advice for any way to deal with my family will help.
Thank you for your time though, blesss you if you have read it all, bless your heart!!
-oof my family :(
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Well for one I can say I know exactly how you feel the only difference is I’m 17 months older than my sister yet she still gets to my head,I’ve thought of suicide a few times also.i would go to my mom and she’d tell me that it’s petty and to deal with it honestly i got tired of everything and ended up locking myself in my room for days only coming out to use the restroom and eat ,it went on for a week and my mom finally came to me asking what’s wrong when I told her everything including the suicide thing my mom actually started listening to stuff my sister said and started punishing and grounding her after a while everything cooled down.and no I didn’t say all that to tell you to lock your self in a room but to tell you to pull her aside and be serious with her and tell her everything. I hope this helps . : )
ReplyOmg thankyou so much for commenting and I’m glad that you can kind of relate to part of thisss!
The only issue is that grounding someone with a mental disorder won’t helppp (I wish it did) and yah ik you didn’t suggest itttt but I’m just sharing lol idek but bless your soul for commenting, it really does help
ReplyMy story isn't close to yours... However we share similar problems. I have someone important in my life who doesn't listen to me, seems as if they just don't give a damn about me.. Trust me, I feel you. I struggle with anxiety and depression everyday so just about everything bothers me and makes me overthink EVERYTHING! But once I finally get away from all that shit for just one second, I realize that whoever it is if they aren't making us happy why do we keeping doing this to ourselves? We let them not caring get to us. I'm sort of a badass so why can't I just act like I don't get a damn as well. Think that'll help. Well regardless if it does or not, these people are not letting us ruin our future. We have a whole ass future in front of us. My mystery person is my husband.. I live with him everyday. But I love him. So I deal with it. You're gonna grow up and get the hell out of there, so be strong and fight though it.
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