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As my title says, depression hurts a lot. I have been experiencing it a lot more frequently lately, and I honestly, don't know what to do. I came out a few years ago, and even before then I have felt as though I was out of place or something was wrong with me. I try to stay super involved in different things, but lately it all seems to be going downhill. I have an amazing roommate and some good friends, but when they go to their significant others house, or all go to their homes, I start feeling empty. It comes on strong, and it comes fast. I feel like no one actually wants to be around me when things are said and done.
My "dating" life is the same way. Since Christmas I have been stood up, ghosted, or blocked over 87 times. I know it is dumb to keep track, but after so many, you start wondering what it is that you are doing wrong. Most of my friends make it at least to a first or second date, but I have only made it to and through a first date once in, gosh 3 years, and then got blocked less than an hour after it was done. I just want someone who I can show how much I care. I want to be there for them like I hope they would be there for me.
There are a lot of other things that have gone on and been way worse than not getting a date, but that is just what has been hitting me most recently. I hope I can make it through it this time, but honestly, I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I think the world could be a much better and a little less troubled of a place without me.
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You may feel left out or even unwanted, but it may just be all in your mind when it comes to friends. People will always want to be with their significant other. When it comes to finding a relationship, try different things. A blind date, new apps, new bars, or etc. Do not worry or stress about a love life, just because everyone else may seem to be enjoying their's, you still have your freedom. Maybe try asking these people why they decided to ditch you. You can learn things you never realized through this. It may be uncomfortable at first or may even hurt, but after awhile you can improve and even change whatever you turn out to dislike. Only change to where it is healthy, this means taking is slowly and easing in.
ReplySee that is the thing though, I have tried asking but when I get ghosted, they don't really respond back. Honestly, if someone would just tell me if it is something I am doing, it would at least make me feel better knowing that I know.
ReplyI know this may be a stretch because most friends won't be honest towards this due to fear of hurting the other person, but try to maybe ask them. Don't tell them to straight up just drag you, because that is way too defeating. Ask for what they think you can do to improve. I do not know you, so this is the best advice I can give out. If you are very social and get nervous, you may speak way too much. This leads to them feeling as if they aren't listened too. Always engage by asking questions. If you tend to be more shy, they may feel as if you just didn't care. People just want to feel as if they have someone who will hear their voice, so maybe ask them questions based on what they say or their passions. It may seem a bit silly, but try doing a thing where you ask a question and then the other person ask you one. This allows each other to learn more and for both to feel listened.
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