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There was a time in my learning i had completely decided to throw people under the bus with satan. And yeah colored quite religiously right?
I began with enough sacrificial urges like self sacrifice like 15 days jerking without release constantly hurting myself for feeling umm etc.. no eating or drinking.. kind of like the exorcist movie (which i sorta still do) and used the power to completely define my wants. If i wanted someones mom and an individual got in the way it causes somewhat of a butterfly effect but within their lifetime. "Playing god" always has a consequence right? It is i do not deny someone, that is one thing i am not willing to do instead id rather dispel my hidden attraction which is a sort of possession people call love though dont quite know how to control. It cant be a want. It has to be logical enough to literally say this is what you need. Which is why some get away and some dont. A want means you are being illogical and leave room for error. Comes with not understanding what your emotions are.... hmmm conan.... no. Not him. He has to be oblivious...... keep him oblivious...
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