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I have gotten into a relationship around 4 months ago with a guy who seemed like nothing when I first met him, but as soon as we spoke for the first time, he’s all I thought about...a bit too much.. first I stopped going out with the family because I wanted to stay on video call for hours with him as he lives at the other side of the city first month in. I had noticed he speaks one of his ex’s, as they stayed friends..bestfriends, last week he had a football game and she had kissed him. He pulled away but their lips still touched which boils me inside > out. It didn’t get to me at first, but then I realised they speak basically as much as we do. And live closer to eachother...it makes me physically sick thinking about it. She’s really skinny and has a perfect figure, she hasn’t long flowing hair and a pretty face.. it makes me cry to think about her, she’s gorgeous and he always tries to bring her up on purpose to get some jealousy out of me. I don’t really eat anymore because my minds always on her and him, everything fun seems so dull now and I want to physically abuse myself continually, I just don’t know how. I want to speak to somebody on the phone and spill my guts out and explain everything, but I keep everything inside and i feel like it’s eating through me because have nobody to do that to as I have moved country around a year ago. It’s like im competing against a girl that i dont even know personally, and I feel like she’s winning. I have gotten too attached. It’s not even a good feeling anymore, it’s a try to keep him as happy as possible no matter. We are meeting tomorrow night for a cinema and dinner night out in town and don’t know what to do anymore..I’m trapped..
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Im going through a similar problem. The thing we share is the attachment. We need to know that we can be fine on our own. Its a lesson and we should be strong enough to get over it. You shouldn't stop eating, or stop doing the things you used to do because of what he does to you. Don't blame or hurt yourself. You're strong enough. You can leave him if you want to, get over him, make him value you. You are strong, beautiful , smart just the way you are. Never change for anyone. Good luck
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