What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text TEEN to 839863 (Teen Line). More resources.
One night after a football game was cancelled I decided to walk the whole mile home and let my brother take my friends home instead because I had needed to think. There was lightning here and there, but it didn’t bother me. The walk started off okay, I was lightly sobbing, faint tears rolling down my cheeks, but as I kept continuing farther from the school I started to inch closer and closer to the curb until I would dip into the street and stand there for a second. Realizing what was happening I would go back on the sidewalk and watch the cars pass me. I loved feeling the wind so close to me, and I would cling onto a stop sign like it was the only thing holding me up. I kept telling myself to just keep walking onto the asphalt, to accept my fate, to end everything and sleep easy forever, but something held me back. I called one of my friends that was dropped off. I was crying and couldn’t stop. I remember asking her, “Am I a good person?” after she kept asking what was wrong. Answering, she rambled on about how I helped her through a lot but I couldn’t really understand anything, I was too busy watching the cars speed by and wishing things that I shouldn’t wish for. She told me to call my brother to pick me up so I told her I would (after collapsing to the ground and not being able to breathe from crying to hard and for so long). I never did call my brother, I kept walking, but I didn’t think anything, I didn’t go by the curb, I just walked, dried tears along my cheeks, and I was hurting, and I didn’t know what to do. Eventually my mom picked me up with literally the rest of my family in the car and she yelled at me how I shouldn’t have gone out so late and how I was crying and how I didn’t tell her why and I just sat there thinking about the times she told me it was okay to feel sad and that I could trust her but hearing her yell I held it all in because she wouldn’t understand. I’d have to go back to therapy and have some random person with a PHD tell me that I’m messed and I’m wrong and I need to be fixed because I’m not normal and because I’m “too young to feel this way”. I sat there and when I got home I left the lights off, texted the people I promised I would that I was home and safe and not dead or kidnapped, or still hanging by the curb waiting for a special car to come and sweep all my pain away. I laid there and I was done crying, I was done feeling bad so I stopped feeling and I closed my eyes and soon opened them to the morning and regretted not taking a bold leap into the darkness because it all came back and soon my friends got sick of me and stopped inviting me to things so I stopped going and I stopped trying and I didn’t completely stop, but I’m still thinking about that last one.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
The Guy I Need to Let Go
You were important to me for so long. I thought I actually had a chance with you, but silly me. A guy like you could never have loved a girl like me. I’m just...
-
Share your feelings
Hey, everyone, I have an interesting idea and I just wanted to share it. So basically you can write everything you want in the comments below - how you fe...