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I knew this day was coming, even though I expected it; that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like everything in my life that meant anything left along with you. You were abusive, hypocritical, and became distant and resentful over time. Yet, whenever someone would ask, I spoke of you to the highest degree. Can you say the same? Am I to pretend that I don't know everything you said? Or do I confront you and expose your childish ways? I know you're a bad person, and I know I can do something much better, so why do I still catch myself loving you? Why do I lay awake at night thinking of the handful of good times compared to all of the bad times? Why, if you called my phone right this second and you apologized I would accept it? Why do I love you when all you've done is make me feel like less of a person while boosting yourself up enough to say you don't need me anymore? Why.
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I hope you feel better and heal as you move on.
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