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I recently ended a 2 year relationship with my best friend and it ended horribly and ugly.
I was unhappy and we argued all the time and I decided to end it.
During our relationship I attended a society at university and made some real friends and incredible experiences for myself. I also attended a board games night. These were times and spaces for me to enjoy away from my girlfriend but eventually she nagged and complained about not being invited so eventually I did.
Now we've separated she's pretty much taken over these activities (which bugs me especially since she didn't even attend the same uni as me but goes to a social of mine).
I was never particularly close to anyone at games night and at the society no one made real efforts to be my friend and since graduating last year I feel like I've been doing all the chasing and trying to belong but it's never worked.
My therapist keeps asking why do I have this strong feeling to try and belong to a group and why are people who don't make the effort good enough for me?
I never wanted to appear that I gave up on what I enjoy because simply my ex was there but if these people aren't making the effort to be friends with me and it affects me then should I bother? I feel I want to look after myself emotionally and psychologically these days and I feel that if these people aren't making me feel accepted then I should just cut the chord. I always stayed and made the effort because I felt that my social skills lacked and that I needed to make more effort but is it worth it? Or should I move on with my life, focus on the small group of friends I do have and cut off whatever makes me unhappy these days?
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