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I forgot how bad my parents' drinking was...
I am moving closer to them this month and was over this evening chatting. My dad had too many beers and it resulted in a screaming match between him and me over nothing that even made sense.
I forgot how bad it was - I forgot that there is no reasoning with my alcoholic parents after 5pm. I had forgotten how bad it was and how relieving it was when I moved out the first time. I forgot. I forgot why I chose to never drink.
And now I'm choosing to move closer and I think I'm crazy for doing this. It's the right move for so many reasons... But I can't go back to my childhood like this. I can't deal with my unreasonable alcoholic parents. What am I getting myself into?
I'm make rules and guidelines and protect myself... But all those old awful memories and feelings came back tonight and it's hard. I've been crying for an hour and I can't stop.
Alcoholism is a terrible thing - and I will continue to choose to not let it get me.
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Dude just reading this made me click "comment" so quick, u need to get help, my dad is an alcoholic and abused tf out of me, u need to talk to someone it will only get worse
ReplyI'm sorry this happened to you... you'll have to stay away from them as much as possible. Even if you live nearby, only communicate through text most of the time and say things like, "Busy with work today!" if they want to see you.
My family was often verbally and emotionally and sometimes physically abusive, and I now live about 20 minutes away, but I hardly ever see them unless we arrange a get-together.
ReplyI am the son of two addicts, both drink and drug. You have made the right choice by not drinking because believe me no matter how much you think you can handle it, you cant escape it. All the ill never be them’s in the world wont change the fact that its in your blood. Distance, and picking your interactions carefully, make sure its not just you and them alone, suggest going out for dinner/lunch whatever. Don’t waste your time trying to force a change in them, until they are ready to do something about it, no amount of pleading will get through. Don’t be afraid to make your opinion, or concerns known, but dont engage in fights on the subject it never ends well. Also know that none of this in any way is your fault, this is a disease, but choices were made. I hope all the best for you, keep going.
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