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why cant i just focus?
i've got so much to do and a deadline at 12:30 midnight but instead i'm just sitting n a coffee shop wondering how these people can actually get there work done all i wanna do is just sit down and drift through time and think, but i cant i have to focus, or else ill waste time, but what am i doing now, wasting time . funny now i look like the one whose focused and getting work done, tapping on my laptop like i'm some intellect with wild thoughts typing them down. fuck i'm sick of this life, can't an asteroid diminish our existence, NOTHING MATTERS IN THIS LIFE. what the fuck are we doing. funny thing is, is that my life is at its highest point getting my dreams done. but maybe that it, if all that i have dreamed of is coming to life why aren't i happy, running around and getting things done? why aren't i moving forward? i'm guessing by now that sth is up in my brain, that would just make things easier. from there on maybe i can move, i need certainty, instead of just feeling insane, I NEED SOMEONE TO CHECK MY BRAIN. sadly enough i live in a country where that isn't possible. i want to know where do i stand when it comes to my mental health.
i need someone to take this seriously, someone to share all of my thoughts with without having them tell me to grow up and stop making shit up. it's like all these thoughts are jailed in my brain. and i just want to let them out. i want to breathe. i want to be as stupid as everyone else and just live life as easily as they do. i dont want to be swarmed in these thoughts.
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SAME! my brain tells me to do something but my body won't let me! and I feel disappointed of myself as well :(
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