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Looking for love and unable to find it
5 years ago · 0
316
I have been looking for love for a long time, yet it has evaded me. When I say love, I mean it romantically, since I have family and friends. I grew up in a time were fairytales could become reality. A time, when connections and chemistry mattered more than physicality. A time, when people truly believed in soulmates and "the one". As a young child, I envisioned what that would be like for me. As I grew older, I started searching, hoping to find that earth shaking, life changing happiness with someone else. Unfortunately for me, I am an introvert by nature, very shy, lack the confidence to go after what I want and the world changed. The world I lived in as a child, still valued people for who they were. It judged them by their character, their actions. The world I live in now as an adult, is the opposite. Everyone is judged on their looks, their clothes, how interesting their hobbies are and their social media. The world has become highly superficial and a difficult place to form true connections. Which is ironic, since the cause of this is the same thing that we use to communicate ideas accross the world. In this world, where you can swipe right or left to find a date, rely on matching apps and go on countless dates with countless people and still not be able to find a lasting connection. Where we are also constantly bombarded by the marketing ideals of what beautiful is, what we should all aim to look like. I am caught in the middle, refusing to conform to the ideal of beauty, refusing to change myselfor my hobbies just so I can attract a partner. Yet still believing that someday I will find "my one". Feeling out of place, I still quietly search. Sometimes knowingly settling for the wrong one. Getting hurt and hurting them. Not wanting to end in the same cycle I have seen countless others. Staying in unhappy situations, where fighting is the norm, just to not be alone. As if being unhappy is better than being lonely. And so here I stand lonely, but not entirely unhappy. Still quietly searching and hoping that some day I will find the connection I have been looking for. And who knows, maybe actually get my fairytale ending or at least romantic comedy ending. I just hope I'm not too old by then.
-Anonymous :{D
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