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I took the licensure examination for certified public accountant 2 years ago. I failed. The thing is I was so disappointed in myself I didn't know what else to feel. I never failed a subject. I did have my share of failed quizzes but my school days went as smooth as they should. I graduated the year that I should've graduated. A few points short to be a cum laude. I am not from a rich family. I am just lucky to have supporting relatives who helped my parents with school finances. Reviewing for the board exam isn't cheap too. I knew how my family adjusted their allowance to provide for my needs while I'm away. I did review. But I can't say I gave it my 200% best. So I failed. They comforted me when in fact I should be the one doing so. I should make it up to them. I know they are disappointed in me because I am disappointed in me too. They asked me to try again but I can't. I'm afraid to see that look on my parents' face again. I'm afraid to read the same text again. I don't want to hear my sister saying "Why did she passed and not you?" I know she doesn't understand the effect of the words she spouted but they sting. They still do. And for months I don't know what to do with my life. I had it all planned out. Pass the exam, get a job, go on with life. But my path just split into several different paths and for a while I didn't know which way to go. I was lost. This shouldn't be my norm. I stayed home for months. Not wanting to find a job. I can't talk to my friends. I never talked to my parents about the failed exam. I go on like it never happened. And then I got a job with the help of a relative. I didn't want it. I can't see myself spending the rest of my life doing the same thing. It isn't a job where I see myself growing. But I can't leave. It's my first job. I didn't expect to like my very first job. And I don't. But it has become my everyday life. It has become my new norm and I don't know how to get out of it. I want to. But then I am again afraid to start over. It's been 2 years. And now, people are asking me when will I try the board exam again. I know I should. But I don't know if I'm ready to.
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You can't succeed without failing in life. Sometimes we find ourselves on a rocky road and we have to fight through. Take it again, give it your 200%, and pass that test. Don't be afraid of failing and don't compare yourself to your sister because you will not succeed if you continue to allow these things to bring you down. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH!!!
ReplyThank you. Sometimes a little encouragement is all we need to get through.
ReplyIt must be difficult rooting for something for so ling that you were so sure and positive about. Life is filled with new surprises each day. It just takes time til you realize that things happen for a reason. I know you spent lots of time and effort, and constant studying for the field you desired to be in and saw yourself in. but just remember we all succeed in something. Maybe its life testing you in how strong and independent you are. Prove yourself that you are not what you feel you are. Prove to yourself that you will not settle for less. prove to yourself that you can accomplish, most importantly believe in yourself. Because at the end of the day its only you who is going to get through this. You will succeed and soon you will see the rainbow coming from the heavy storm. good luck champ!
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