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6 years ago · 2 · Thoughts, +3
844
What the * is my purpose
I have nothing to live for except my mom
I'm all she had kinda as in I'm her only baby
She has so much accomplished. I'm never going to be like her. I'm too comfortable she had to grind her way out of poverty
Am I even going to be accepted to these varsities with my marks?
I hope I don't turn out like my uncle. He really disappointed my mom. He's failed architecture which takes 4 years but he's been doing it for 7 and he's going for another round next year
What am I going to be. I don't even have dreams that seem realistic.
I wanted to be a dancer who dances at parties like ultra, I'd like to have a blog or some kind of thriving social media platform. I want to be an astronaut. All my dreams exclude my family from my life. I never think of my mom in my dreams but she thinks of me. She's my family...
I try so hard for the social media but no one follows me but my friends. What do I expect I'm an introvert. I only have like 8 friends maybe and people who like me and are following me because they know me.
I feel so useless because I'm being looked up to by fricken adults (moms friends said that they do, lol) they know how hardworking my mom is and what she does so they think I'm also a super person
I need someone to help me... I talk to this guy on Twitter, he has good advice but I feel bad seeking for help to him. I don't even know this person btw. I always go with my problems I feel like I'm using him. Nah I won't say anything to him.
Please help me, I'm really sad right now
Sometimes I wish I had a different life or was someone else of another race far from this place, I don't know. I love my mom. I can't even imagine being someone else's baby though... Ugh, we aren't rich and mom does her best to provide the essentials for me. I always try to convince myself I'm a minimalist and that people who have too many clothes and shoes are just being extra. But really I envy them. I'm tired of wearing the same outfits đ ugh my mom bought be an expensive outfit but I would've rather bought 5 outfits at a thrift store with that money. I don't even wear that outfit because it's so formal. What a waste. And my arms look skinny in that shirt. I want to gain weight
Exam: write an essay you have 2 hours.
Me: Writes one page
Me on novni: writes a whole biography in 10 minutes đđđ
Should I become a nun or some kind of phalanthropist? I'm shy though...and awkward when it comes to talking to adults.. I either don't speak or I talk for too long and they don't reply and then it's really awkward cause I wonder If they heard me... Oh okay
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I'm gonna tell you what you do, you over think THE HELL out of everything lol. Look my darling you do whatever you want to do. If you want to pursue your dreams do that because regrets are harsh believe me I know. But there's also nothing wrong with just, being normal and getting a decent job and working that's okay too. Everyone has a different path in life and we could choose whichever one we'd like to go down. I know the feeling of people expecting alot from you because of your family but hey YOUR NOT YOUR MOM. Your you, and Your better. That's what makes you unique is your not the person your mother is and that's beautiful your mother is a hustling ass woman and I respect her for that but she did whatever she had to in order for you not to have to suffer so don't enjoy your life hunny. And don't feel bad about treating yourself, I literally bought a $75 dollar blanket and I LOVE it yes it's wasteful as hell but you know what fuck it it made me happy so there's nothing wrong with extravagance you just have to stay humble. Whatever you do in this life it will be important and don't let you fear of people and opinions scare you from being wonderful it's a killer believe me I've been there but when you stop giving a shit and start living oh darling it's AMAZING. It's easier said than done but I believe you can do it, so give yourself a try. You might find your a pretty fantastic person once you get to know yourself đđđđĨ°
Replyđ I told her I panicked during my exam and she spoke to me as if I deliberately turned on my panic button. And she said I'm not the first person to write exams, this woman. So encouraging.
THANK you for your taking time out of your day to help me. I guess there is nothing wrong with having a decent job. I'll see where life takes me, I try being authentic to myself
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