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It all started when I won that fricking competition. I was the very best in computer when I was younger. Now that I’m older people still expect the same thing. Me always being good at computers. It always being my forte. When we had to go thru programming I didn’t know how. People just retorted “oh you know this already just don’t study anymore”, “what do you mean you don’t know this didn’t you win that competition”, “teach me please I know you know this lesson already”. I don’t know anything and yet they just assume. Their words just slap across my face making me live up to their expectations. I expected my parents having big expectations along with my relatives. I didn’t know it would also come from my friends and classmates. I have to live up to their expectations everyday. It’s just exhausting. People would say that they’re just praising you. It’s not. I ask for help but they just keep saying I know it all. I don’t know anything. I just can’t handle it. I screamed in the room and people told me to chill. I feel the need to cry. I can’t keep up with the other subjects cause I have to perfect this one. I have to know EVERYTHING. I have to use my free time to study BY MYSELF to learn. I have to live up to their expectations. I can’t do it at home but I should at least try at school. I just feel so overwhelmed. I just want it to stop and let them treat me as an equal and not a person who they think I am. I just want it to stop.
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You aren't rude. You're stressed and the world assumes one thing of you. Just be you. Make yourself happy. Ignore the people who press you.
ReplySo... that... makes you... rude? No, you’re wrong, first of all. People are just uncomfortable with change. You were good at computers, so immediately they think you still are. You’re not as good with computers anymore, big deal... you’re not rude in the slightest, if anything, they’re being rude because of the of the expectation that they’re forcing you to hold yourself to. <3 :)
ReplyStudying by yourself to learn is a good skill to have, and one that you will need throughout your life. Keep pushing yourself to do your best in whatever you do.
ReplyAt the end of the day when you close your eyes it's just you. So do what makes you happy. If you want to be good at something do it if it makes you feel good about yourself. If helping others make you feel better then do it. Do it for you not for them.
Reply