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I feel so alone. I was a quiet child and struggled to fit in. I was ridiculed and teased. So I tried to change myself to fit the status quo. I became a chameleon and fit in with whichever group I found myself in. As the years went on I became so good at being like everyone else I've forgotten who I am. I don't know who I am when I'm alone. Sometimes I'm in a new group and I'm terrified I'll do something wrong. I'm so dependent on being invisible, I can't see who I am anymore.
I look around me and I don't see anyone there. I can't love me because I don't know who I am and if I can't love me how can anyone else? There are people I care about deeply, friends I would do anything for but they don't call me. If I disappeared no one would know I was gone... I want to disappear. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
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Hi there! I want you to know that reading your post really resonated with me because I've felt like this before in the past. I admire your strength and bravery. It must've been hard to constantly change yourself just to conform with your friends. You've chipped parts of yourself and and molded yourself to become what you think will be accepted the most by your peers. But you know what? What's amazing about you is that you care enough about your friends to think about what they will like or not, even if it's at the expense of your own happiness. You say that you can't love yourself and that's okay. Finding yourself can be a long process so take your time. Start with discovering the things you love and nurture them. In the meantime, if you can't love yourself, then let other people do it for you. You're patient, thoughtful, hardworking, and kind. You have a beautiful heart, as shown by your love and care for your friends. You say you're invisible but maybe it's the other way around. Maybe you're the one who doesn't see the people around you. There are so many people out there who would be happy to love you if you'd give them a chance.
ReplyI am a lot older than you and trust me noone care who you re, good or bad...doesnt matter. Even somebody at 30s may still confuse who they are too. Many people asking who i am,what i want, ya...those struggling questions. In my opinion, dont be so concern of being any particular one, doing good and enjoy what you re doing is more valuable! Slowly your personality will develop too. You have plenty of time ^^ that is your real threasure! Failure doesnt matter. Good luck to u! You re best! 👍
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