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A few months ago I broke up with my ex of 2 years and friend since we were 16 (we are 27). She was emotionally immature, didn't like my friends and couldn't hide it from them, she couldn't look after herself (bad dental, overweight and bad finances). Ending it was hard and hurtful but I knew it was the right thing to happen .
During our time I attended a social group at uni and a games night I'm a pub. Eventually I brought my girlfriend who didn't have many friends and she fitted in well. Now that we have broken up I didn't go back to my social because I graduated and got caught up with running my own business and trying to gety finances sorted. Same with games night because of class.
She however still attends and seems to be thriving at both of them. I feel incredibly jealous but I don't know why. I left my social because I felt most of my friends moved on and the rest I felt were too caught up with their uni work and couldn't go to games night because of night class. I felt it was good to leave those days behind because I was happy and felt satisfied working on my business and becoming financially independent. I felt I didn't need groups of friends but rather the few that I do have in my life.
Yet I see my ex thriving with people I use to be friends with and all I have is petty thoughts about how she only has this many friends because of me and if it wasn't for me she'd have no one.
I try to think maturely about it and say to myself she works Nightshift so she has more time for friends and isn't saving any money to move out or have a proper job. Whereas Me, I've moved on from my student days and working on my business to save money and get my own place soon . We are living different lives and want different things yet I feel jealous about her having a more successful social life than me, despite me being an introvert who has learned how to enjoy his own company.
Am I petty, is this natural, or am I just the bad guy in the grand scheme of things?
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It is natural, you can have it as well but you have to pay the cost and the cost is spending time. So how much do you want to spend?
Everything has a price. It's all a cost-benefit analysis. In this instance social popularity or access cost time and interest and energy which you're spending elsewhere.
It's Perfectly Normal to want it all. It's just insanely unusual for anyone to be able to obtain it.
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