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I'm not really sure where to start, I've read so many online that articles that make me think I romanticized our relationship but I think what we had was real. Maybe I just got caught up with everything or I was blinded by love because I really did care about you and it wasn't until I got out that I could see all the red flags that I didn't want to at the start. You weren't my first love, you weren't my first kiss, you weren't the person I lost my virginity too, yet you hold the most weight out of everyone I've been with. It's been a year since we broke up now, I still find myself thinking about you everyday, every person I've met and had thoughts or intentions of having a relationship with I compare to you, and they never stack up and that is so unfair for everyone involved and I hate that I do it, but I find myself doing it almost subconsciously. I really resent you for it, I feel like I can never be happy, I've started accepting the fact that some people just don't find someone, being alone for the rest of my life seems like a very real possibility right now. I've done this sort of thing before, writing a letter to someone with no intention of sending it or letting anyone see it, it kinda helps, I've written the same thing numerous times now.
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