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Do you ever feel as if you’re a visitor in your own body? Like, the person in the mirror isn’t who you feel like you are- or that you should be.
When i look in the mirror i see a fat, angry girl. I see someone who tries to make everyone happy, but fails miserably. I see a girl who cries her heart out just because she wants to be good enough for someone. I see someone who can’t pass a single college class even though she has put in all her effort, plus some.
I see a girl who looks like she should have a pig nose sewed onto her because she eats like a pig & looks like a pig.
I see a girl who feels so small and invisible in a room full of people, because she doesn’t feel like she’s worth much at all.
Most importantly- i don’t see who i am anymore, but god i wish i did.
I’ve never had such low self esteem in my life...i just wish i could stop feeling this way.
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I definitely understand how you feel. I too look in the mirror at myself and I feel as if I am out place. Who am I? Is this really me in this body? Is the real me the person that sits inside my brain coming up with all these thoughts? Or is the real me the one that is out there when I'm talking to people at college. Who am I supposed to be?
I'm not sure if this answers any of those questions, but maybe I can bring up some questions that you can ask yourself. Does it really matter whether we feel one with who we are? Who's to say that everyone isn't who they are? Personally, I don't think it matters. Why dwell on the fact of whether or not the person we look at in the mirror is really us or someone else. I know it's a cliche but what's the point of life if we just dwell on things that make us unhappy.
Also, it may sound pretty stupid. But why focus on making other people happy. In the reality of things, the long run, the person that is gonna be with you is yourself. The person you look at in the mirror. If you're not happy yourself what is the point? Why worry about making others happy when you can't even make yourself happy? Just focus on yourself. Who cares what people think about you? Surround yourself with people who support you and motivate you. If the people around you right now don't accept you for who you are, then why be around them. You don't need others permission or recognition to live. You are who you are. Nothing will change that.
I understand how you feel about low self-esteem. When you look around at your peers, those that seem the most confident usually have so much hiding underneath that. I'm not sure if there's a single human being with perfect self esteem. The reality of it is, what people say to you will always hurt. That feeling of pain never goes away. But you eventually learn to not let it affect you. Who cares what other people think about you. If they're only gonna bring you down in life then they don't deserve to be in your life. Be confident. Be confident in yourself. You are who you are and nothing can change that.
I'm not sure if this will help you or not, but type out your thoughts. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with stress or if you just have something to think about. Grab a pen and paper, grab a keyboard, put your thoughts out so you can see them.
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