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She just couldn't be happy for me but said it was my fault that our friendship was over?? But I don't see how this is my fault?
My friend and I had known each other for ten years, and it was a long distance friendship. I'd speak to her every single day for those ten years until I met my boyfriend.
I think she was jealous to be honest. After a few months of dating my boyfriend she told me that she missed me, how we used to talk. She said that she understood that I was busier with my boyfriend now and wasn't asking for more of my time. But that she'd been diagnosed with depression at the time and just missed talking to me, and would feel really Sad when I'd not respond to her messages for a few days. I told her that I'd get better at messaging her back, though she said that's not what she wanted because she didn't want to be "a burden" she just wanted to let some of her feelings out in hope that it would make her feel better. Guess it didn't because the selfish cow started crying when I made time to call her. It hadn't been on the night I'd said I'd call her, and I hadn't managed to text her for a bit because I'd been with my boyfriend.
I'd called her to try and tell her about the issues I'd been having with him - he made me go to a hospital appointment on my own so he could play dungeons and dragons with his friends. And then he'd walked out of my birthday party early - - which id invited her too but she said she was too depressed to fly out and see me, so she can't really miss me as much as she said. Anyways I had to get the train across town at 3am to get to my bfs house after he left, and I just wanted to talk to her about it. But she had to make the whole thing about her, saying that I'd said i was gonna call and text but let her down, and that I only ever wanted to talk to her when I was having issues and not that I cared about how she felt. 😣😢 Could of said the same thing to her because she didn't seem to care about my feelings until I started to cry.
We spoke until 2am talking about my relationship and I think she's just jealous to be honest. she said that I shouldn't be with someone who treated me badly but although what he did hurt me I don't think it's that bad. We've only been together two months and even though he still has tinder on his phone I know I want to be with him and I'm considering comingn off the pill and having a family with him.
My friend is jealous of this too. She says that I should wait until I move out of my parents home and until he finishes university because he lives in a one room student accommodation, but there's more than enough space for us to have a crib for the baby there. I just got my first job a few weeks ago so I can get maternity pay as well.
Whenever I call my friend now she accuses me of always making the conversation about me, and that I only call her or text her when I'm having an issue. Which isn't true, I like to let her know when I've been praised or achieved something too. She never seems to care tho, all I get is a short "well done babe, I'm proud of you" or something. My boyfriend bakes for me, or my family and friends go out for a meal to celebrate. She doesn't even send me a card.
She doesn't answer me anymore when I ask how she is. She tells me to just cut straight to my problems. She said that I don't take the time to hear her out ether, but I can't help it if I have work in the morning. If she chooses to stay up until 3am listening to me and wants to be tired in the morning then that's her choice and her problem. Not mine.
She was even rude enough to hang up on me once. We'd had an arranged phone call, but my boyfriend came around and we lost track of time. She called and freaked out when she heard his voice, asking why I couldn't send her a text to say that I couldn't talk. She's so dumb. If I can't call you, I can't text you.
It reached a point where she no longer wanted to talk to me at all. She said that until I decided to sort my life out that there was no point in her listening to me anymore because apparently I just kept going in circles. What a fake friend. I think it's her depression making her this way. But don't take it out on me because I'm becoming an adult while she wants to kill her self.
Maybe I had a lucky escape. But she turned around to me and said this was my fault. I told her that me having a boyfriend shouldnt come between us and she had the audacity to say it wasn't her who had made that choice. That it was my behaviour and actions here that have lead us to this situation.
Maybe I'm better off without her. Because she's a loser who's got no one and I'm the one who's going to be a mother and wife one day. I'll have it all and she'll have nothing.
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A ten year relationship is important to both of you, I’m sure. And it’s commendable that you are still trying to keep in contact with her. Try to understand that her actions are coming from a place of hurt. Though your boyfriend is your top priority, you still may be hers. As for starting a family make sure you both have an understanding of what it’s going to take and how you are going to parent (discipline, education, who watches them, who their guardians are, food, clothing, etc.). It’s important that you are on the same page on some of these things in order to have a happy less complicated future. I wish you the best of luck.
ReplySorry about your friend, it sounds like neither of you is understanding each other.
I will say however, you should date your BF for at least two years before going off the pill and thinking of having kids. Seriously. This gives you enough time to know if they're the right person for you. A child shouldn't be voluntarily brought into the world until their parents are stable in their relationship, and also financially secure.
Also, babies are VERY LOUD and require TONNES of effort and cause you to lose lots of sleep. So yeah, waiting until you guys have finished school is your best option if you don't want to fail your courses (this goes for your BF too).
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