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I had some past trauma with bullying and it had left me miserable and having low self-esteem.My mental state has just been getting worse and I cry often.I’m socially awkward and push others away.But lately, I’ve been trying to get better and clear my mind.However, my friend consistently gets annoyed at me for crying so regularly.It is my fault for the past not telling them the reason, however I’ve become more open.Though they’re truthful, they often use slurs like “retard” at me and I keep getting upset at it.They tell me I’m at fault, though it is partly true, I feel like I can’t say what I’m truly feeling.But I know that they don’t mean to harm me and we both understand our similar struggles.But recently, when I made some mistakes they were reasonably annoyed.I cried a little, I couldn’t control it and then they walked away from me.And silently ignored me and I just feel terrible. What should I do?
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If they can't be there for you, no matter how much you cry, you can't truly call them your friends. I used to get bullied for so may things, and it's caused me to fear people in general. Like you, i tend to push people away and am socially awkward, which is why i come here. To say things to people who will listen and not judge in any way shape or form. Just remember that you are not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.
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