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Okay so I how really severe anxiety to the point really hurting my school life/work and my health. No I'm not self harming myself, Im to afraid to do that, it's that I'm a type 1 diabetic and recently I haven't been changing my insulin sites like im supposed to because I'm afraid of the pain and of putting it wrong and having to do it again. But because the sites are in so long the tissue around the site becomes infected and makes the insulin no work correctly and making my blood sugars stay high and causing my a1z (I think that's what it's called) to rise nearly every doctor visit. And my anxiety is getting worse. And one of the biggest things that I gett anxious about is that my anxiety might just be made up and I pretend to and say I have it for arlttention or so I can say I'm different and I know it's not true but I can't help but think that. And I need to figure about how to control it or make it go away because it's stoped me from doing alot of things I love to do and keeps me from saying alot of things I want to say and it gets all bottled up and I don't have many people or places I can just let it all out and even when I'm at a place or with someone I feel comfortable talking about these things I usually just act like nothing is wrong or only let a small piece of it out and it's not enough. To make things worse I'm quick to cry and if I get to worked up I start to tear up and when I cry my face gets all red and ugly or more ugly than usual and I hate crying in front of people cause it makes me look weak and like a big baby and it just works me up more. I can hardly look at myself in the mirror and I almost always wear my jacket and it gets really hot but it still don't take it off. It's even affecting my grades, I failed a class because I was to afraid of going up in front of the class and showing it to everyone and there were a lot of presentations in that class and I can't even eat lunch at school cause I get to anxious in the lunch room about multiple things and end up just hiding in the bathroom during lunch. I wear only long pants that touch the floor and don't like showing any skin from my neck/collar bone down besides my hands. My check up doctor or family doctor was supposed to sign me for about psychologicst but we never got word back and I asked if there was about sled ny medicine I could take to help me control or lessen my thoughts and he said this is meds for anxiety but my mom doesn't want me taking any cause she says it makes you almost like a zombie and at this point I don't care if just want something to help because it affects my life even more than it already has. What do I do?
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I'm a type 1 diabetic too... and yea it sucks... I've always been insecure about my diabetes and I did not want to show my friends and the rest of the world that I do have to take a shot every time I have to eat, or that I'm walking around like a robot with a pump... I hate that my friends can eat a pizza without measuring their BG and take a shot... But I've realized that I can't do anything about it. God chose me, God gifted me with Type 1 diabetes and not anything worse and I am actually thankful for that. Every time I go through a tough period with my diabetes, I try to remind my self that there are actually some people that are going through tougher times than me, there are people who have cancer, there are people that lose their ability to walk because if an accident... And I remind my self that; if they can do it, I can too.
ReplyHey I'm also a type 1 diabetic :)
Unlike you I have a pen to inject my insuline, but I also had anxiety and it also affected my diabetes. Not so long ago I had nobody to talk to and it made my anxiety only worse so I tried to inject a little bit more insulin then I was allowed to with the thought that it was better if I would die. I didn't die because I didn't inject much more insuline then I should've, but I realised that I had enough of this feeling, being anxious, trying to die, bottling everything up to cause myself even more pain,... So I said to myself that I had to change. First of all I stopped listening to sad songs that I could relate to, but started listening to songs that made me feel stronger like 'This Mountain' from Faouzia, 'Stronger' from The Score, 'Not dead yet' from Ledger,... Second, I had to see the positive sides in things and not always keep focusing on the negative sides. Third: I started trying to talk more and show myself more to the world. And now I have some rlly great friends where I can talk normally to and I can even show some body parts like my arms and legs without being ashamed. Yes, I still am anxious sometimes but you can't change yourself in one day, it's a long process and you gotta be strong to make it till the end, but believe me , you're going to feel much better along this process :)
Btw: in my first step I said I listened to songs that make me feel stronger, but if you don't like music something else might help you, like drawing, reading, writing, ... shouting could also help sometimes :)
ReplyThanks. When I posted this i was on the verge of a anxiety attack and it felt good to type all that out but as a I waited for the fisrt hour and saw that no one commented I started to think I shouldn't have posted it and that the people who had read just thought i was a baby. Thanks for commenting and the advice, it made me feel so much better.
ReplyIt's no problem I hope this will help you feel a little bit better and you don't have to feel anxious about what you type here cause everyone types about problems or other things on this site so you're not a baby at all :)
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