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A light I carried obliviously-
A creature that knew me not yet completely,
But relied on my life force and ability
To nurture and provide devotedly.
A tiny hand to kiss and hold,
A brand new story ready to be told.
All I'd dreamed of ready to unfold,
Before me a new chapter to behold.
Yes, a child created in trust and love,
In a taboo dance we made the most of.
A creation willed from the High Ones above
That we could not support the coming of.
Tears were shed, then and now,
To a broken love we made a vow.
Feelings I lock away, for we can't allow
Those mortal wants to publicly avow.
A title that was never mine to claim,
A light I'll never see the same.
These tears can't wash away my shame.
I only regret putting out that flame.
But to keep that light, a selfish mark
Upon my conscious, forever stark.
For all my family, a tedious journey to embark.
In a life of struggles, I would take part.
Relationships ruined, forever dashed.
Through it all, I'd stand unabashed.
His wife, distraught, would outward lash.
Could she see the light, and I not be thrashed?
Could I give this light all that they’d need?
Could I guide this light in thought and deed?
Could he raise this light, his words to heed?
Could I carry this light, and in life succeed?
Beneath my fingers, a tingling of energy,
A sensation burned into my memory.
A life I want so tenderly,
But at this time, is not my remedy.
My light is gone, taken away,
Returned to the Goddess till another day
When I can live without outside say.
I hope we meet again in a better way.
The Wheel still turns,
The seasons still change.
Everyone goes on,
But I still feel strange.
A black mark upon my book,
A chapter I will never share.
A part of me died that day,
Like my child that will never take its first air.
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