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I honestly dont know what any of my thoughts are anymore. I sit, and sit and I can go through a range of feeling without knowing what or where the hell any of them are coming from. I'm so tired of feeling this way constantly. I get up feeling what I believe to be is depressed, not that i really know what being depressed feels like, and I hate myself for feeling that way which makes me feel worse. I talk to myself in my head, and I know that some people say that it's a sign of being crazy but to be honest, talking to myself has probably been the only thing that has kept me sane for so long. The worst part is I know I can reach out to someone, but I dont, and it's not because I'm scared because I know that person will still love me, it's because i know that they won't understand me, and that is what I need. I need someone who u understands me, and can give me advice on how to cope with this, whatever I have, be it depression or schizophrenia or whatever it is I'm going through. I cant enjoy anything because I'm stopping myself because I dont want to ruin things for others that I know isnt true but I'm slowly dying on the inside and I need some help.
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