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So dating my bf for a year, I've told him that he shouldn't go in the hot tub at the gym. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable and he shouldn't do it anymore. He said okay. After a few fights/breakups, he told me that during times we weren't talking or when we fighting, he would go in. Why would he do that? Is he always going to do something I don't like when we get into a fight?
OR Am I the bad person here for taking away something he liked to do?
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It sounds like it comes from your insecurities and not something he's really doing wrong. A public hot tub should be ok. Can't u join him? Unless he's given you reason not to trust him, you should try to trust him otherwise you'll just end up pushing him away.
ReplyIt appears to be much more bigger of a problem than just you not liking him getting into a hot tub.No you are not a bad person, neither of you are.
Your problem is that he's not listening to you or respect your opinions, and like you said, you broke up for a while so he didn't think him getting into a hot tub, would affect you since you're not talking to each other anymore. Maybe he doesn't like something you do.Maybe he didn't mention it because he didn't think it was much of a deal.But in your mind, you projected the hot tub situation as a big NO NO and forgot that he has his own choices. Don't get me wrong, i'm not taking his place, i'm just explaining that you need to sit down with him and talk about it. Trust issues, that's what this is all about. You're afraid everytime you mention something he does that you don't like, he's gonna do it anyway. Well talk to him. Respect his opinions and hopefully he'll respect your's.
ReplyTrust is a major key in a relationship, maybe he’s just annoyed at he fact that you haven’t fully given it to him. You guys should work together and compromise so it isn’t one sided as relationships between two people come with 2 separate opinions and perspectives I guess.
ReplyI don't know honestly, I mean it depends, from how I see it... I don't know... I think if he cared about you he might try to get to a point of sgreement instead of continuing doing what it is that is bothering you.
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