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anyways so i just started writing here to kind of really get in the feel of talking about my emotions. i’m so sad. i don’t get it although i do. i just came across Jon bellion’s song Blu and it’s a great song but it makes me so sad. every single listen has been sad and i don’t know quite how to explain it but it’s a great song and i don’t want to stop listening. he talks about falling into the person’s blue, how fighting the inevitable end of falling into their blue is hopeless and he should just give in. i love love. although i don’t think it’ll ever be mine. he’s happy and my friend just recently met someone who she’s still in the talking stage with but she’s happy and it makes her stomach flutter. so i may not really be able to relate to any of this right now. someone from my past keeps coming back to me in vivid, strong and cruel memory and i am sure i’m 100% over it and them but it’s somehow sad to go through. i feel like i could have had better. but that’s not up to me really is it (haha) {and not a sarcastic haha either, i’m really laughing). anyways. i think i’m gonna stop here. this felt nice.
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