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I haven’t felt like myself for a while and no ones seemed to notice,
But I guess dealing with what I have would do that too you,
17 November 2018
I’m waiting for you, but you haven’t shown up, I’ve got so much to do, I guess you’ll be here soon.
You still aren’t here ? This isn’t like you!
Why aren’t you here? Did something better come up ? Is that why you aren’t here ??
I messaged you, I can see you’ve read it
18 November 2018
I can’t believe you didn’t show, you haven’t messaged me either ... have I done something wrong ?
Should I message you ? Should I be angry ? I don’t know what to say ... this isn’t like you.
19 November 2018
I don’t want to believe this, there has to be a mistake, they got it wrong
This isn’t true, it can’t be
I don’t want this to be true
How are you gone? How has your heart stopped beating ?
This can’t be true
20 November 2018
What are these stories I’m hearing ?
Did he do this to you ? Did he hurt you ?
Is it true ?? It can’t be, I refuse to believe your life was taken from you
Who opened my message ? Was it him ?
Did he have your phone again ?
The next few days where a blur
29 November 2018
I saw you today, for the last time
You looked beautiful, you always have
You look like your sleeping, I kissed your forehead
Your so cold, please just open your eyes
30 November 2018
We are all here
I can’t take my eyes off your coffin
You’re in there, My best friend
There’s photos of us up on the screen
They said my name, they mentioned me
I still can’t believe you are in there
How am I here
How is this happening
Why you ?
I don’t want to say goodbye
I’m watching them lower you into the ground
I still can’t believe you are in there
I’m looking at your tombstone
He did this to you ?
How could anyone do this, do this you
4 December 2018
I talk to you everyday
I think of you all the time
You’re really gone
I wish you would just call
17 December 2018
30 days, you’ve been gone 30 days
He did this to you
25 December 2018
It’s Christmas,
I haven’t seen your face
How can I do this without you
31 December 2018
I want this year to die
He did this to you
I hate him
1 January 2019
It’s a new year, but you aren’t here
How can I do this without you
7 January 2019
I thought I saw you today
I couldn’t breathe
10 January 2019
Why haven’t I dreamt of you ?
I wish I could see you in my dreams
I miss you so much
12 January 2019
I dreamt of you
I knew I was there to say goodbye
But I don’t want to
I hugged you
I could feel you
You wiped away my tears
You picked me up
You kissed my cheek
You smiled that smile
That goddam smile,
I woke up
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