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Ah thanks for reading buthis I have something to tell you sister. Yes I've recently opened up to you about how toxic I am. How my mood swings 3 times a day. How I get panic attack's and anxiety attacks. How it's hard to control myself. How I breakdown mid day. How I hold myself back. Out of all of that I'm so grateful you heard me. I know I'm currently in a better place since talking to you. Yes I should go see a therapist but I wish to wait til I'm 18 because I don't want our parents to know. You told me to use you as a guardian since your way older than me. No. I've told you a lot but not everything. Even the darkest things I will keep from you. If it ever got out I don't know what I would do. It hurts me so much but these past 4 years hurt way too much and I have 1 year left to be 18. We both have problems, and I know you've kept things from me too. I love our family, I feel like I'm reverting back when you dissappear. I've grown so close to you and then you dissappear it makes me latch on to our brother. But you know he never talks either. A person who doesn't interview. If I lost our brother I would at least go insane. If you left I would be shocked just like the time it happened to our pets. It hurts and it's dragging me down. You told me your gonna leave one day and I told you I support you but I don't know if I can anymore.
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