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There's tears rolling down my face, voices in my head telling me to 'die' but why?
All I can think about doing is taking as many pills as I can, taking a blade and putting it straight in my arm so deep I die, but why?
So many fake smiles, so many fake friends, so many fake people. Why would you tell me you 'love me' if you don't? What was the point making me feel for you if you didn't feel the same? Why?
I was there for you when no one else was, and now that I need you? You abound me, leaving me with no one. I don't understand why. I was always there for you, what did I ever do to you to show no hate, but worse. Nothing. Why?
You leave with the enemy, taking her side, ignoring me. Walking past my door and not even bothering saying 'hi!', instead you walk past my door with the enemy, but why?
There's finally a boy I like. And guess what he likes me back! But I'm too scared to get hurt and I push him away. And what does the enemy do, your friend do? She takes him, takes him from me. And I'm broken. I can't feel anything, I cry and cry. I cut all over, just to feel something. No one cares. I want to die, but even if I did that, it wouldn't be good enough for anyone, especially you. Because I didn't do it fast enough did I? Why, why, why do you hate me so much? Why does everyone hate me? WHY I'm I never good enough?
I can't, I want to die. But I can't. I need to think of my mum, the pain she would be in. But isn't it time to put my happiness first, in dying?
It hurts, breathing, seeing, hearing. I can't do it anymore. I can't be HERE anymore. Everyone hates me and I don't know WHY but now, I hate me. I will always hate me.
X I m D o n e XI
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