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ok so i'm friends with this guy, lets call him Stephen, and we are good friends. The problem is that I know that he really likes me and I don't like him in that way. I actually like someone else. Anyway, i've told Stephen time and time again that i just want to be friends but he doesn't seem to be remembering it. i just want to tell him straight up that i don't want to date him at all but the thing is, he has depression and he is so close to being done with it and i don't want to hurt his feelings or whatever and he gets worse again. And its not like he always tells me he likes me or whatever but hes always like "maybe when i got my stuff figured out we can date" or "i really want to date you" or "maybe we can date in the future". and he always says how much he likes me and all the things he loves about me knowing full well that i don't want to date him right now.
Im not saying that i would never give him a chance because i have even imagined in my head that we are dating but it never felt right to "be with him". and im also not saying that he isnt a great guy because he is. he is different from other guys like he is kind, funny, sweet, and unique and i know it sounds like i like him i honestly don't, i like someone else. just don't want to hurt him but i don't want to lead him on even if im not trying to
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I have a similar situation. I think what you need to do is just tell him straight up. Tell him that you don't see him that way but it doesn't mean that you stop caring for him as a friend. tell him that he'll find that someone, but that it's not you. And if hes saying " we can date once i get my stuff together" he should really focus on getting better instead of finding someone, when he already has someone that cares, which is you and his other friends. He needs to learn to love himself before he can love someone else romantically. You should be there for him. If I had someone that cares like you do when I was depressed, I would have gotten through it quicker and in a better manner. You're a great person, have a nice day:)
ReplyThank you❤️❤️
ReplyYou can always just tell him again that you don't like him right now, and when he goes on with the "maybe you'll date me in the future" stuff, you just say yeah maybe but it's very unlikely, and then try to change the topic. Give it some time and he will understand, but if you're worried that he might harm himself then stay close, but also always keep everything clear to him.
Don't know if I help, but I hope you get it sorted out.
You can't change how he feels, but you can tell him how you feel. Sure it could change, everything does and if he's a friend be honest and really communicate with him. 'Dating' is a stupid term anyways.. some temporary monogamous commitment then onto the next person.
Perhaps frame it to him that you might date a guy.. and another and later another but a friend can stay forever. Ask if he truly want one chance and thus fundamentally change your relationship, or keep what he has with you.
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