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I can't do this.
I can't pretend that I'm not drowning. Gods, how do people do it?! I'm worthless, pathetic, Nothing. How can anyone be my friend? Why are my friends sticking around? They're fools. They should've run when they had the chance - they still should. All I can offer them is destruction and pain. All they can do is watch me fall apart. I'm sick of pushing my problems on other people. I'm sick of feeling like I don't deserve to be alive, or happy. I'm SICK of it. I hate being tired all the time. I'm sick of hurting people - I can't hurt people anymore.
I want it to stop. I want to just stop existing like this.
I'm not going to.
Maybe I'm too scared. But in the end, I know the real reason I'd never do it, never end it. There's too much good in the world to see. And I am happy sometimes. The happiness just drowns in sadness on days like this. My low days.
There's so much good to live for.
I wish I was good, too.
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Why do you think you're bad ?
ReplyI hurt people. I shove my problems on them. I'm an ugly, stupid burden, and I hate dragging people down when all I've wanted in my life was to help them.
I know I'm not actually evil, but I guess today is one of my low days. It's been a long, long time since I've had one this low, so it's hard to cope but I know I'll survive it.
ReplyYou're not bad if you can acknowledge your faults. You're only bad if you don't, you're bad if you intentionally go out of your way to hurt people.
I can talk from both perspectives , sometimes I've been the one to hurt people
--- sometimes to make them think, sometimes been cruel to be kind ,to make them realise its or their own good.. sometimes unintentionally..
Sometimes I've been hurt, most times actually..
-- When people acknowledge it ts easy to then forgive and move on and if lucky forget too.
You feel a little guilt, you feel like you're a burden.... you're not bad nor evil. You my dear are just human , apologise to people who mean something to you and acknowledge it .. for those who don't or you can't for any reason just learn from it.
Something in this post tells me you're considerate, a clutz of a human.... Just like the rest of us.
ReplyAll I could think when reading this was this is me. I feel the same. There happens to be people in the exact same situation sometimes. The only thing I can do is to say don’t give up.
Replymaking mistakes is normal in life but you should learn from it. you can do it buddy you're so much better :)
Reply