Happiness

I wish I could do more things that would make me happy. Lately I've been reflecting on some things from the past few months or so and I think it's been a while since I have done something in the pursuit if happiness. It just feels like I'm constantly in a grey area where I dont feel happy but I dont do anything to fix it because in the moment I cant understand that maybe if I took a few steps forward I could reach happiness. I think that maybe I'm too worried about other people and the world around me to actively try to help myself because I cant see what is going on until it's too late. I've list touch with some friends and its bugging me that we aren't as close because when we were I truly felt happy but I cant say that without being weird or awkward. I dont mean to seem annoying bu posting this because I figure some people will be left thinking "so what" or "others have it worse." And I get that. So I'm sorry if you read this and you dont really care or feel like you wasted your time. I just thought that maybe writing it out would help because talking to people in my life about it is so much harder. Thanks if you read this.