Broken Love

Have you ever put all your energy and emotion into something before? I have. In a long distance relationship it if hard to make things work. It's worst when you're struggling in life and don't want to exist. I found someone that gave me hope. Brought the meaning back into my life. Although we met online we dated for 10 month. I was so happy. He was great, he was there for me and made life better. But I made the mistake of putting my happiness in his care. I had hope that things would always work out. Until he dumped me. Well actually it was a "break" over 3 months ago. He promised he'd come back. Said he loved me everyday. But I could feel the distance growing. Only causing me more pain. Yet I never stopped fighting, never gave up on him. Until today. It's Valentines day. He never messaged me yesterday... I waited. I messaged him, told him I missed him. But I lost the will to fight. Finally gave up. I keep blaming myself for him leaving me. I tried so hard but was never enough. Not to mention well we were dating he cheated on me and I forgave him. He left me for other girls and I took him back. All I've ever done is love him. Its been 2 years. I've stuck by him, let him use me. Until this time... he dumped me. Saying I'm his and he's mine.. Yet tells other girls I'm his ex and he's single. I don't know what I did wrong anymore. I don't know why I'm never enough. Every relationship I've been in has ended in pain. I've been used, cheated on and dated just because they felt sorry for me. I thought this was different. But apparently I'm just someone to throw away once they get bored. Not anymore though. I sent him a message today. Its read "Happy Valentine's Day... and goodbye. I guess. I'm done holding you back. Go be happy. You deserve the best" I still love him. That will never change. But he left me saying he needed to heal, because of something I did.. I wish I could fix things. I wish I could stop crying. I just want this pain in my chest to stop. I try so hard but only cause people pain. I put everything into that relationship, and walked away with nothing but heart break and misery. I don't know how much more I can handle...