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15.Feb.2019
It rained today. There had been no clear signs. Clouds clustered like stars, and they coloured a dark grey.
The sun hid in its shadows and the moon in the skies.
I didn't think it would rain today.
It was clearer than glass. But it did.
So, I don't know.
Someone died today. I didn't know her. Not at all. She was insignificant in my world of a thousand galaxies. But to someone else, she was worth more than that.
The loss must've been painful. I can't relate.
I imagined worst case scenarios, but it was worse than that. I left the lost a seashell I picked up on the shores. For your troubles, I tell them mentally.
Then, I thought of myself, like every other human being. What would I feel if I was that someone else?
Images flashed through. Fragments, pieces of memories untold, unreal. They showed altars, the smell of incense, the rain tasting of salt, pity adorned on faceless figures.
Suddenly, I feared death more than ever. It happened before, abrupt and sudden.
It clung to me like the smell of medicine for an incurable disease, a mere placebo. I thought it left. It never did.
I saw a couple meet for the first time today as well. I saw him kiss her so softly, as if he was afraid of hurting her. In the backseat of the car, they locked in a embrace so tender it would've brought the clouds in the skies to its knees. It brought me to my knees.
When the sky turned a obsidian kind of black, I sat on the car. There were no stars as I wrote. Epiphany played in the background, and blended with the hum of engine.
The couple sits in the back, and the loss sits in the front. I smile a smile not happy nor sad, but a smile of curiosity that rivaled a child's,
I sit, as loneliness consumes me, and wonder whether if it was a good or a bad day.
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