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Most of my life, I try to speak up about what my problems are and that I needed help. I don't talk to either my mom or dad. I'm not as close as I used to be with my sister. I go to work, not in college which was the biggest dream I had. Mind this that I'm an immigrant who has permission to work and all that. But I'm here only working and not even reaching any goals whatsoever. I have anxiety and depression which I know that by myself. I told a friend that I would let a doctor now how depressed I've been feeling. This was last year when I had to do a check up after overcoming cancer. I was going to do it, but I backed out thinking I can solve it myself. The reason why? No one ever listens to my words or pain. I tried telling my mom how I felt but she always says that I'm stupid about it. I can barely talk to my dad without him ever criticizing me about everything I do. Which is true because I don't do much around my house. Even if I did my best to let them know I'm trying, the give me negative comments about it and don't even motivate me. That's why I don't do anything at my house as I wanted to. I used to tell my sister things as well and she would do the same. Now, she gets annoyed with me and I still listen to her talk without any complaint. Here comes the part about my boyfriend. He has really changed my life. I do still get upset about what my mom, dad, and sister say. Yet, my boyfriend is the one who makes me smile, laugh, and feel so protected. But it all came down to him not listening to me either. When I start to tell him something without ever letting me finish, he thinks he can fix it all without listening to the whole story. If I were to tell him in person about him himself, he stays silent and not even look at me. That makes me feel regret. Regret for opening myself up and that I am asking him to "change." I am not asking him to change at all. I know it may seem like it, but in a relationship, isn't all about supporting and listening very well to your significant other? Ever since my family don't listen to me, I find it hard to say anything. I always overthink. I still remember all the verbal abuse my parents say. Things that I didn't ask for to happen in my life and my parents make it seem like it was all my fault. I always try my best to listen to others and give them support. I know that no one will ever truly listens to me without ever interrupting or thinking they know the whole story and "help" me out.
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