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The Third Wheeler : Try not to be ignored, only to have more people ignore you...
5 years ago · 1 · Need Advice, +2
410
Okay, with the title of this letter, you’d think this is really cheesy. The truth is, it’s not.
I have two best friends who I love dearly. We hang out together, we talk and laugh. One of them has been my friend longer then the other one. We are childhood friends, and we are really close. Lately though, it’s been weird. My new best friend had started hanging out with us since the beginning of August 2018. She is funny and outgoing, but it seems like she changed my best friend. I don’t want to say anything to her though, because my bff thinks that she’s alright.
When the three of us are together, she seems to favor my old bff over me. I am ignored and shunned. You know the feeling when you buy a beautiful new dress and you wear it for a couple months to parties and homecomings? But when it starts to get tight, you decide to just keep it in your closet for a while because you think it’s so pretty. After a couple months, though, it gets forgotten and you move on. That’s how I feel like with me and my old BFF these days.
It’s not just being ignored, either; when my new bff and I are together, we have such a great time! We laugh and I feel bad for thinking that she’s mean and selfish. Right after she leaves though, or when we are back at school, it’s back to ‘Ignore the bff’.
I’m confused, hurt, and nervous, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m overrreacting or if I’m right to worry. I don’t know if it’s jealousy or anger, and I don’t want to concern my parents, who have been thinking that I’ve been acting weird lately. I don’t know what it feels like to have fun or to be free anymore, so here’s were I came: to a place where I can write my concerns anonymously.
Thank you so much for those who reply and write your opinion, I’d love to get your honest opinion, whether it’s positive or negative. Thanks again!
- Confused BFF Girl
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Likely it's a simple attempt at hierarchy, a pecking order. Your new bff MAY be seeing your old bff as the 'leader' and trying to place themselves in #2 spot but putting you lower. It's common among males or females in predominantly male homes.
Just a guess but perhaps you can get a grip on the dynamic from this point of view.
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