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I've finally accepted being alone. I first started wanting to have someone was in 8th grade. At that time, all my friends had someone and I was lonely with no dating experience. I would sometime question my friends, asking them how they found someone so quickly and easily. I yearned for the type of affection they were getting but when I was told "so and so likes you" or "this person wants to go out with you" I was confused as most of the boys I had never spoken to and wondered how they could of liked me without even speaking to me. I continued 8th grade being alone, still wanting someone but still not putting myself out there as if I'd meet Prince charming in a day and we'd instantly be happy with each other. I never believed those things, but sometimes that thought did give me hope. During summer I completely gave up on trying to find a boyfriend. I told myself that I was simply unlovable and that I'd be all alone for the rest of my life. I had a lot going on in my life and finding a boyfriend was honestly the last thing on my mind. When i started Highschool I didn't think of it as an opportunity to find someone unlike most of my friends who thought this. I had one particular friend who said that if she couldn't find someone this year that she would be alone forever. I asked her if she ever had a boyfriend before and she replied saying yes. She had dated 4 guys before and I made a joke saying that she had way more than me and that she defiantly had a chance of finding someone. It was kinda ironic. I thought she was nuts thinking that she would always be alone when I also had that same mindest not even a month ago. I was shocked at the end of freshmen year that not once had I thought of looking for a boyfriend while that was the only thing my friends wanted. For once in my life I didn't share the same feelings as my friends. I had decided that I dont need someone to make me feel happy and feel loved when I had so many other people doing that, including myself. Sure it sucks and sometimes you get that lonely feeling but now I can just brush it off and say "oh well. Nothing to get worked up over." I haven't given up completely on dating, but it's the last thing on my mind. If i do end up liking someone ill glady go after them but I'm not going to unless I know I like the person and I'm not just chasing the idea of love. Im more happy now to admit that Im single and if I don't end up finding someone well then that's fine with me. As long as I have my family and my friends I don't need anyone elses love.
If you're currently looking for someone to love please don't let it consume your whole life. You have so much time ahead of you and there are so many possibilities out there. Don't think that if you find someone, all your issues will go away and you'll be happy forever because Im sorry to tell you but it doesn't work like that. There is so much to do with your life and finding love is such a small part of it. Don't chase love. Live your life the best you can and one day love will find you
Love yourself
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