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I waited all morning for one of my cousin's. He and I were supposed have had fun today. Our plan was to visit a military airplane museum. He's really into airplanes. Then we were going to see an army surplus store. I was doing it to be nice for him. I said I would treat him to lunch even though I have hardly any money.
Anyhow he never contacted me and I wasted the morning sitting around waiting.
It's just difficult. I'm trying to not isolate. I have ptsd. I was abused.
I sometimes get memories of my abuse. Like today. I was remembering a time my abuser wanted to see me. I was a student. He was a grown adult. Everything about it was wrong.
I just remember this day after lunch. He told me to go to his house. That's how mind controlled I was. I actually left school to see him at his house.
I thought maybe we would do something fun.
He took off all my clothes. Then he took off all his clothes. He just used me for sex. It gets me angry now. We didn't even leave his bedroom. I just remember his cum all over on me. He just used me.
That hurts.
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