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Feeling so lost right now. My fiancé has been acting so weird. I found drugs. He keeps losing / misplacing things and accusing me of stealing them - only to find out he moved them / found them elsewhere, then doesn’t even apologize. I woke up today and he was gone, he said he went to the shop, then to his dads (said he fell asleep when I called). Then hours passed and he still wasn’t home. I called again, said he fell asleep again... 🙄 Then started texting me saying I had his phone hacked, I was cheating, that our daughter is someone else’s (whom we both know)... we had a DNA test... I feel lost, alone, betrayed, defeated. A part of me is saying leave - after 8 years and being through hell and back, and a part of me is hopeful. I think being hopeful is foolish at this point, I’ve asked him multiple times to seek professional, psychiatric help, he won’t, but instead continues to blame shift and deflect. I feel like I need to give up on him, us, love, everything. Maybe I’m supposed to be alone and focus on myself and children.
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Sounds like you know the answer. It will be hard, but don’t compromise your happiness. Smile and keep your head up.
ReplyThank you. I think deep down I do know the answer. Things are just complicated. Our business, our house, the kids... I’m just worried that if I leave I’ll get screwed out of everything. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, just recently seems like all this crazy stuff is coming to the surface. I feel like I’m drowning.
ReplyIt's a double edged sword, you leaving. In one hand, he might finally realize and seek help. On the other, he might worsen and become one of your regrets. My only advice is, do what's best for your children. Don't compartmentalize your happiness but also don' t forget that you have a responsibility towards them.
ReplyThank you. He didn’t come home at all yesterday. All the kids (mine, his and ours) all continued to ask where he was. I’ve had prior talks with all of the children, with the exception of our mutual child as she’s 3 and they all want to stay with me. He and I work together at a store his father opened many years ago. I put in the most work both there and at home. I’m worried if I leave / kick him out, I’ll be fired and will not be able to financially keep the home and meet 6 children’s needs. I’m not sure if I even know what being happy is anymore, unless it has to do with the kids. Def. a double edge sword, I just keep asking why and what did I get myself into. Again, thanks for your reply and allowing me to get this off my chest.
ReplySometimes walking away is the best option. I strongly believe in trying to make things work, but it is not a one sided issue. Maybe you can seek professional counseling to help you decide and heal regardless of your decision. Just don’t give up on love. Maybe you just haven’t found the one who loves you as you deserve?
Remember, children learn what they live. What do you want to teach your daughter?
ReplyThank you. I’ve thought about what the kids are seeing and learning plenty of times. I’ve asked him would he want one of the girls to be with someone like him... I feel like he does love me, but sure as hell doesn’t show it. That’s good advice to find someone to talk to, as I’ve lost touch with many of my friends and the friends I do have I don’t want them to judge me or my life. I mainly speak to my mother, who hates him. I love hard and sometimes carelessly. It might be time to just focus and myself and the kids. If the right person comes along, I wouldn’t rule love out, I’m just over getting burned in the love department.
ReplyYou will be in my prayers! Best wishes!
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