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Dear woman who I loved, I can't believe you're ready for marriage already. It took you 3 weeks after we separated to find someone. Did half a year of marriage not satisfy you? Did your childish outlook on life not anticipate that marriage isn't easy?
I think one day you'll never get worse than what you've already done but you keep making history every few months with your decision making. How does it feel to taunt shamelessly online that your life now is all you wanted. Aren't you the one who wanted to get married so bad?
You couldn't find anything wrong with yourself or whenever you did something wrong. You always blamed me for why you were having a hard time or a bad day and when you came to your senses or not you'd blame your tough upbringing on why you act the way you do. You need to grow up, you still had privilege that others didn't have growing up and they all seem to have a character far better than yours. I hope you realize how evil you are. Seriously, the thought of me loving you even when you wronged me so many times makes me sick. Why haven't I lashed out on you? Why have I never flipped the furniture and punch stuff when you made me mad?? You made me mad every time you chose partying and drinking and acting like a prostitute over our relationship. You did so much wrong and told me that I was the only one who sees problems in our relationship but you never saw anything. You knew you were doing wrong yet you enjoyed your life at the expense of other people's misery. My misery. Now, you can be a child all you want. Let your new found "love" take care of you when you're sick, drive to work and everywhere and whenever you want. Let them love you regardless of how ungrateful you are. Let them sacrifice their dreams and ambitions so they can align their life to your aimless and meaningless goals in life.
I'm so thankful we didn't have children. I wanted them with you. But if we had a child, you'd want him/her now while they're still a baby and then abandon them when they grow up because reality is too inconvenient for you. You don't like the hard things, but when it comes to the easy you'd have them done for you by someone else. I was always your someone else. I was happy to be your someone else as long as I thought you loved me. You didn't. Your infatuation with your fear of dying alone makes you weak. Your counter measure to your fear is by getting married right away so you feel secure. If you didn't enjoy it, you'd blame it and say that you settled for it. Because that's what you said right? You settled for me? Yet here I am, fighting for my life. I have no confidence because of you. I'm a smart kind caring guy according to people from strangers to people who've known me since we split. But I don't believe what they say because the lies you put in my head of how I was never good enough still lingers. I hope you never have to live like that. But reality is too inconvenient for you.
I will one day come out alive from this. And you'll not be in mind anymore. You will be a glimpse of a second in my long life. You will never have me. You don't deserve me. If you ever come across this, I hope you grieve over what you destroyed. Because I have grieved and I will shed tears till I have nothing to shed tears for. But I forgive you, for everything you've done to me. Things I haven't mentioned or may hurt to talk about, I forgive you for that too. I hope you find the truth that will set you free. Because I'm free at last and not bound to you or your words.
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