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I can't remember if I have wished this on my birthday candles, if not then I'd whish it on November if I'll be there.
It's selfsih. I know. For all my life, that's what I've been. So to relieve myself of all the pain, and to relieve them of all the stress, I have one wish for myself.
I wish I'd get hit by a bus or maybe a truck, a hit that would kill me in an instant so people won't have to take care of me.
Or maybe I'd get hit by a stray bullet straight right in the head so they won't have to pay for my care or operation.
I don't want the attention anymore. I don't want the pity hugs.
Impulsive shopping, exercising, eating, singing, reading books, solving puzzles, talking to someone, playing with animals, warm bath, liquor and cigarettes, no. They don't work anymore.
Maybe watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. still works sometimes.
Maybe... But one thing's for sure.
I just want my wish to come true.
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i heard bad wishes don't really come true !
miracles can happen. you just need to have faith.
i wish you get well soon
ReplyAnd I wish that your wish should not come true and wish a miracle for u
Replymiracle could happen, i wish u all luck in your life and i hope your life will be much brighter <3
ReplyFace what you are dealing with then. No other option if you dont want to involve others in your death wish? Sounds like there is someone involved in all of your scenarios. Sometimes we must just endure & be the best person we can be. Even if your mind is begging you to turn tail & run or bring anything bad or negative out in you. Be absolute in not going "there". Sometimes we have to allow ourselves to be broken for awhile. Impatience with the progress only makes it worse.
None of those things you mentioned ever solved anything, just appeased you. But it does suck when you cant truly enjoy anything you used to enjoy. That can be depression.
If so, you should work on that. Find your way to heal & there are a lot of options out there. Takes a long hike though through treacherous emotions we have to learn to get an understanding of. I know you might feel like a burden & some may (shamefully) tell you that you are. But I guarantee you are worth it to work through it.
Reply