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So I have a bad relationship with my dad, I come from a middle eastern country and I haven't talked to my dad in a year and a half, because he was very controlling and toxic in my life, I really needed to get him out.
Since I stopped talking to him he banned me from talking to my 6 year old half-brother, so that was a huge pressure point for me.
My mom and my sister have been begging me to talk to my father again for ages now, and I guess I caved in a couple of days ago and talked to him, didn't really apologize for moving out - he says that i hurt him badly by moving out- but i did say that i did my wrongs and that i'm not an angel and that i believe we should work out our relationship again. Anyway he said no, and that I can't decide to get him in or out of my life whenever i want etc. and I was really thankful for that because i'm not ready to talk to him again, I only talked to him because my mom and sister pressured me to do it and because i thought it might give me a chance to see my little brother again.
anyway now he texted me saying that he wants to talk, and I'm freaking out because I know that means that he wants to mend our relationship, and since i pretended to want that a couple of days ago, I don't know how to back out now.
I don't want to talk to him, i really don't, it will fuck up my mental health, but i'm seriously afraid to disappoint my mom. Can you give me advice on how to make the point across that i don't wanna be in contact with him again, but in not-so-fucked-up way?
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I would say talk to both your mom and dad about how you feel towards the entire situation. It’s important you make the right decision for yourself, not for other people. You are so worthy and how you want to be in contact with someone is your call.
ReplyThe problem is it not just my mom that I would disappoint, I'd be doing that to my whole family, and family is pretty important to them so they might just cut me out
ReplyCan’t you talk to your mom , like explain that you’re just not ready to forgive your dad ? I mean it is unfair that you can’t see your own little brother ..
You’re a very strong person for putting up with all of this !
Sending you the best of luck lovely , sorry I couldn’t be much help x
ReplyI tried talking to her, she doesn't understand, she just tells me to move on and start mending things. I try to tell her that I really can't accept him yet, can't even tolerate him, and she just sees it as me being bitter.
Thank you very much, you are of help anyway
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