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I love you and your husband and your kids but its getting harder and harder to support you. Especially when everything seems about you. Rather than seeing it as a gift you want to make money from it. This is at the expense of other family members who could benefit. You're tough to talk to. I still love you, I just need less of you.
Each interaction tenses the muscles. I feel like a rubber band growing older with more tension. Those things eventually break, and then they're thrown away. I want to be there for your kids, just not for you. I've seen the anxiety you cause in others. I'm not perfect, heaven knows. Maybe that's why I can't bring myself to talk to you about it. It's like casting a stone in a glass house. You would listen for maybe thirty seconds before rationalizing everything.
You're smart. Very smart. But you're trapped in a relationship you love. There isn't an outlet and your intellect is withering. Maybe that's why you've put so much energy into it. There's nowhere else for it to go.
I'm not the only one who feels this way. Other siblings feel the same. After our conversations I'm picking up the pieces. It is a mess.
You want me to visit. Without consideration as to what it is I do. And I have visited. I want to and will continue to. But you don't visit me... not once in nine years. Nine. Years. It's part of something larger. And as I write this it's beginning to dawn on me. I think you're selfish. Who isn't? But who doesn't recognize it?
I can already feel an iota of release. A small piece of obsidian chipped off of this giant obelisk. But this letter now feels like a broken sword: sharp but without a point.
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