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I have been feeling just miserable lately. I feel like an insane amount of stress is in my life, too much important stuff happening.
Before you remind me that there are people way worse off in the world, I just wanna say I know that. I think about that a lot. It just makes me feel worse in many ways. I’ll never be able to help so many people out there...
I honestly think I’m depressed.
Is it being depressed when you have these moments where you just want to stop existing? I don’t want to deal with this world anymore.
I have these moments where I can’t function anymore it feels like. Physically I’m fine. Mentally, it hurts so bad.
I haven’t completely lost interest in everything, so this probably isn’t even depression. I have lost interest in quite a few things, though. Guitar. Video games. Getting out of bed.
I have a lot of pent up anger. I have a good memory for stuff people have done, so it all really piles up for me. It’s not like I even know anyone who has done something really bad, it’s just I don’t see eye to eye or get along with anyone anymore. I am actually pretty forgiving, I can put up with a lot of crap. But as of late I feel so angry, so lost, so empty. Why do I have to keep going? Why is this life? Shouldn’t life be better than this?
I seriously want a friend to confide in, someone who would at the very least just listen. I had someone like that once. We didn’t get along very well. I screwed up bigtime.
This ramble isn’t even coherrent. So sorry...
Well, I will let this drift now, lost in the sea of other posts.
Thanks for taking the time to read this...
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ReplyI'm looking for a dear friend too. My kind I'm looking for is a life long, someone who will consistently talk to me always finds the time to talk to me. I want someone that will open up to me. I have a hard time handling rigid folk. And I definitely struggle with the cussin kind to. Ever sense I began posting I have been hopeful to find someone or to run into someone. I really hope though to be honest they are easy on the eyes. Anyway, I do believe in you that someone will cross your path and be there for you. I know I am that type of person. -AL
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