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So today my crush flaked the date we planned yesterday, because I forgot to ask her number while I was so anxious of what I was saying to her.
She's the 15th girl who rejects me in 5 years. I had ACT therapy, and I'm still anxious with everyone. I'm working as a programmer, and I always wanted to be a pilot. My life is like a joke for me. I'm getting others foot above my life, I always think to put my life to an end. I'm trying to learn my mistakes, but my anxiety lets me fail time after time. I would like to say everyone "FU*k you", escaping from my life and starting a new life. Every friend of mine has a Girlfriend, and at 24s I never had a real girlfriend. I'm angry and frustrated, I hope my life one day will take a really, but really great surprise and will change in good for me.
But for now, I'm only a frustrated and sad guy with a quite sad life for a 24 years old guy.
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Back then I used to look for boyfriends, I wanted to find my person. Everyone was not good for me or something bad came out of it. Until I stopped searching, my husband came to me. I don't know if you go looking for girls, if you do it's ok but I'm sure the right girl will come to you. I know how it's like being rejected and I really hope someone special comes your way. Don't give up and don't let it ruin your life by being sad. I know it's frustrating feeling hopelessness and waiting for so long. It will come sooner or later. Please feel better and I hope everything goes well for you.
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