What are you looking for?
1 year ago · · Need Advice,
there are many things i have been meaning to tell you. i've been wanting to say these things for a long time and now I finally have the mindset for it.
you are strong.
you are kind.
you are beautiful.
life hasn't been fair to you. it brought you here without giving you a reason why, and now it expects you to live your life never understanding the purpose.
i need you to know that i am always gonna be there with you, every step of the way. no matter how far you run, how successful you'll be, or how hard you hit rock bottom.
i will always be by your side.
you always complain and sulk about never having any friends, never being popular, not being pretty, or never being loved, but you never took the time to realize what you DO have.
a good mind, body, and spirit. people would kill for a soul like yours. you're special and you need to understand that. it may not make sense now, but we all get judged in the end, so don't worry, your heart will balance with the feather ;)
you do so much for so many. only for you to be dragged down again.
no one in this world will ever understand how much you have been through or how much you are capable of handling. i think it's so insane how no one will ever know what goes on in anyone else's minds. its like we're completely blind to everything but ourselves. humans are so unique, it makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever as to how we became or what we are going to be.
no matter how hard you push, life pulls.
i know everything about you. I know you better than you know you.
you're right out of high school with two jobs, still homeless, your family's a toxic wreck, you don't have any friends, you let people use you, you're unsure if you're gay or not, you're unsure about religion, love, the educational system, politics, war, you're broke, you want to disappear, you chase people who don't want you, you're so used to being alone for long periods of time that when you meet new people everything kinda pours out and you regret it as soon as it comes out of your mouth. your teeth are crooked and you hate to smile, you get really anxious crossing the street, you have bad skin, you're failing your freshman year of college, and you'll never get to live the life you've dreamed of.
the sad part about all of this is...
none of its your fault.
you're living your life with the cards you were dealt.
you don't deserve any of it.
no one does, especially if you didn't ask to be here.
you need to breathe.
you need to relax.
you need to find a sense of peace within all this chaos.
and you've been trying with no luck.
it sounds easier than it is, i know... and it hurts to know that i cant even try to help you because i don't know how to find it myself.
i know you feel lost and i know you feel as if this is it, this is the end of all ends. you have nothing left to give and your pockets are desert dry. you don't want to die, you just want the pain to end. you feel as if something is punishing you for doing what you were made to do. live.
and i know that you've been trying to find a way out...and with many unsuccessful attempts, life has left you with no other options.
so here you are, just existing.
no one likes to just sit around and wait, but what do you do when you have no say in the matter?
you have no choice but to go with it.
you feel stuck, like you have no other options, no other people to turn to, no where to go, and no means to start over.
you're just sad.
you feel hopeless.
you ever imagined living in a world where life was the toxic relationship?
you ever had to argue with life, begging, pleading for it to take you out.
to let you go.
to free you.
and i know you've been thinking about it a lot, and i want to go ahead and say this.
you DO NOT have to bring a child into this corrupt world.
you DO NOT have to get married.
you DO NOT have to rely on having a best friend or even having a family.
you have me. the one that's been there since the beginning, the one that knows all your secrets and all your unthinkable thoughts.
i love you, and as soon as you realize that you love me too, some things will get a tiny bit easier. I know there is much more for me to say, but i think just one days worth of thoughts are enough for one letter.
its not easy being me and i know it's not easy being you. we both have some tough jobs.
by the time you get this letter, you may not remember me. i'll be in the past, a past feeling, an old forgotten thought, just another moment.
i'll still be with you, like i promised.
I just hope that in the morning you'll still be with me.