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Every thought and every emotion have a measurable physical manifestation. Can that really be true?
I'm imagining a pencil right now, so where is the pencil in my body? It's there somewhere. Some of it in my guts I bet talking to the chemicals in my blood, hormones and things floating up to my brain. I'm imagining my brain just soaking in a pool of water and chemicals like a vat.
I feel so so bad about myself. I want to run away and never come back. I feel this in my body somewhere. I feel my past mistakes sitting in my chest and my neck, behind my eyes. I'm aching from sadness. I'm shaking from coffee and from being hungover. I'm a fucking stupid monster. I need to be destroyed.
I want to fast. I want to punish myself for being bad. I want to hurt my muscles and bones. I want to start over. I want everyone to forget about me and my mistakes. I want them to die so I can move on.
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