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A curve, its up in my face while writing this cluster of words right now.
This organ in my chest is beating so fast, while the one in my head is full of excitement, thrill and happiness.
I don’t wanna end this.
I mean, the feelings, the daydreams and everything.
The image of yours is becoming an art.
It glows brightly as it has always been from the start.
The moment in the hallway, when you looked at me.
It was something that I treasured so dearly.
That was two years ago, the first time that I saw you.
You, your beautiful face, smile and hopefully your soul.
From that day, I am always certain that whenever I see you, my day goes fine.
My senior life flourished and you were my very first inspiration.
But you were a year older and I can’t see you all the time.
I met someone whom I shared my troubles.
We became very close and as time goes by we were together.
Still, the image and that memory of you that you gave me is still inside me.
It was such a shame, shame on myself that I didn’t get to express my feelings for you.
There were countless of times that I could. But I waited long enough just for it to never happen.
I would love to accept rejection than to lose the chance to have it, but I did I lost it.
I am very stupid.
Although things happened to be like that, I do still like you.
People told me that adoring someone while being with someone else isn’t wrong as long as you don’t cheat.
That was the reassurance that I found when I was anxious that liking you at that time isn’t right.
It went on like that and in a blink, my first senior year is over.
I am sad, I really am, I thought that I would never get the chance to see you.
But you still went to the same school for college and my emotions were the exact opposite.
My second senior year just started, the room you guys were using last year, we were supposed to have it.
But sadly, the lower years claimed it first.
There again, in the same hallway, our eyes met and it felt like it crushed the time stone and took me back a year ago.
Still the same, the feelings, excitement and you. You never changed although I know you did in the inside of course.
At that second senior year, I started having more friends, they were all ladies and its very awkward since I’m the only guy.
I see you around a lot, and my friends call me whenever you’re close by.
When you pass by, or just walking around with your friends our eyes won’t really miss.
Our eyes would really meet, and I don’t know, I want to know, what you’re thinking and what you think about me, the guy you just stared at back.
Tertiary as it is, you were very busy. I could see you around stressed out but you’re still very pretty.
Why? Or should i say how?
Time went on, I struggled in my second senior year, I had a lot of personal problems, school activities, projects and of course our best friend, research or the basic thesis.
And after that, after those span of months, it came so soon, graduation day.
Everyone was so happy, well of course I am too but there’s something that is bothering me.
My family got me dinner, and those were my favourite foods.
But I don’t feel the satisfaction, there really is something missing.
And it was the picture of you, where when I lay down that night the only thing that I could do is wish.
Wish to see you just for one last time.
I looked at you before graduation day, you caught my eye as I was leaving, and when I looked back I could see you telling your friend about me.
You really noticed me.
A nobody.
Who stared at your eyes for two years... though I may sound like a creep but I did.
Now I’m happy yeah, a bit sad.
I’m happy that I’m with someone but I’m sort of sad to know that the moment I knew that you were paying attention to me was actually the last time that I’d be able to see you, a moving art.
To: Ms. Honolulu Beach Club, Hawaii (your shirt)
Post Script:
I really am well now, now that I’ve written or let out the feelings I’ve had left. I don’t wanna forget it though, I just want to let it sink deep inside my head. And casually just not be bothered about it. I don’t want the possibilities to haunt me, I already am happy with the one who’s by my side. I wanna wish you, a stronger relationship with your partner, and I hope you do not think of my adoration for you negatively. I’ll surely miss your smiles, the cold stares with warm feelings I could feel. Goodluck in your journey, stay healthy and well. And break whenever you’re tired.
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