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Honestly, we are such a mess.
I've been sitting here for the past hour thinking about you not responding to me and then I think about how I waiting to respond to you and then I think about you thinking about me thinking about you and then I get so overwhelmed I don't know what to do.
Why did you snap me this morning? Almost midnight, a little past. I saw it at that time (binging tv or something of the sort) and yet I couldn't gather the courage to open it because oh my god, how long has it been since we talked? Almost a year?
This can't be healthy to think about and I'm constantly worried that I'll come across as needy if I respond to fast or if I flirt too hard or if I post something indirect like I normally would.
You fill me with such anxiety.
Also, I lowkey hate your name.
That's okay though because, despite all of this, I can still manage to stand up to all of this stupidity and wait and wait and wait for your responses because I am just that desperate.
Just got another snap. And no, it wasn't from you.
Seriously, what the heck? There is no reason you would reach out to me, now of all times, just for no reason. But I am glad that you did. Infinitely. Because I would have played hard to get so hard I wouldn't have been gotten. And yet, here we are, fumbling around in the dark. And of course, I'm imagining all sorts of situations where we would go on dates or do something amazing while at state and then reenact some cheesy teen romance because I can't stop myself from being a cheesy romantic bitch but WHOOPS there we go again.
I've really missed you.
I thought about snapping you after districts but I was so worried that you wouldn't care because of the whole girlfriend thing and never snapping me back so long ago. But that's even okayer, because now I know that it is possible that I could have gotten your attention and that boys can actually like me in the context of romantic interest.
Screw Will Beckey, screw David Wu, screw Ryan Leonard.
Screw all of the old-time boys because you actually stuck around.
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