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My whole life I've been shot down by everyone. My father my mother my stepdaughter my aunts my own grandmother, people I called friends. Yet I still cling on to people even though I know they'll end up hurting me at the end. I just have issues loving myself. The day before I was going to ask a girl out I stared at myself in the mirror for an hour and nothing but negative thoughts came 4ushing through. I tried to supers those but of course when I we t to ask that girl out boom shut down once more. I just feel like I'm never enough for anyone I guess I'm pretty beta. I just want someone I can love and take care and someone who won't shoot me down anytime I open my mouth. I just want to be happy the only person who hasn't fucked me over is my sister. But she's far away so I feel alone and helpless. My dad used to beat me and anytime I said something or gave an idea I'd et yelled at told I was wrong or stupid. Ever since then I've never been able to do or say anything in confidence without that lingering idea of fear. I'm not afraid to fail bit at the same time I am. I just want to succeed in life that's all.
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