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I started to pull away one day to isolate myself from my friends, my family, my happiness, and it all started when I realized I grew up. Right around the same time where I realized the fact that god didn’t exist, not saying that atheism was the worst thing that happened to me it was actually a lot more freeing but because I had that freedom and embraced what I loved I realized over time that I was a messed up human being. I slowly lost the relationships I’ve had the past 5 years of my life, all of my family members had no clue who I was anymore and I didn’t either as I isolated myself away in my room with my depression and let’s face it r rated movies. For such a long time they forgot to care about me, I didn’t have what I used to have which was attention and love. Everyone and everything didn’t matter anymore and I knew that I could never go back. I have had depression for as long as I can remember so this wasn’t a factor to as to why I started to drift away so quickly.
Well all I know is I’m here now literally not being able to sleep till 7am in the morning, feeling a huge disconnect from my life and my body, not knowing what I can do to just move on or to make it so that people might like me again. No one will ever love me again and I have to get used to the constant feelings of disapproval and disinterest directed towards me. Why do I even try?
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